Unfulfilled Expectations

The society we live in today is much faster-paced and more stressful than the society many of us grew up in. The list of tasks a/k/a the “honey do” listsUnfulfilled Expectations continue to grow at an almost exponential pace. More and more, spouses have expectations of each other that are not met or simply cannot be met. An expectation might be something as simple as filling out a form for a child, picking up a prescription or figuring out dinner. If the task is not performed, it can lead to conflict, resentment, feelings of not being heard, etcetera. Helping each other minimize expectations or set reasonable expectations is an important part of the therapy process. It is important for a therapist to open dialogue about prioritizing tasks and to get one’s partner to understand why something that might seem trivial actually has great meaning to the other partner. For example, a spouse that grew up in a home where dinner was served at inconsistent times might expect the other spouse to have dinner ready at a certain time. Although it might seem like a small matter to the one spouse, the other spouse has the need for consistency because it makes him or her feel safe or they might have anxiety about not being able to structure their evening. These “trivial” matters can often lead to major conflicts. Understanding your partner’s expectations is a key part of a successful relationship. A therapist must get each partner or spouse to not only understand what expectations exist, but what meaning said expectations have to the other partner or spouse.

By | 2017-01-31T15:35:54+00:00 February 14th, 2012|Couples Counseling, Relationships|0 Comments

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Specializing in couples who want to lose the resentment and get the love back before it's too late.